I’ve decided to re-open this blog and perhaps it can offer an outlet for my inner musings again, like it used to in years past. Things have been stewing in my head for too long and for a while, I lost who I was again; too afraid of the sunshine outside my window, preferring instead to sit inside and watch the rest of the world smile at the sky.
Things have been really busy the last few months, with having a new baby in the house, planning our first christmas as a family of 4 and all the associated shopping, school runs, cooking and cleaning that entails. I am however still very much in love with my wonderful daughter’s father, with all that he is and all he makes me. I may be steering a little too closely to PND territory again, I still have bad days… I have days where getting out of bed in the mornings seems a little too difficult but there he is, waiting.
Yes, we argue and as much as any other couple we have our grievances and our trials but on the whole, he breathes life into me, picking up the pieces as he walks deliberately in my shadow, waiting for my stumbles so that he might catch me and place my feet firmly back on the ground. If there were ever two people who were destined to be together, I would be completely aghast if it were not he and I, written into the books of everlasting.
Afterall, he gave me my miracle. He gave me the little girl I so oft dreamt of.
He gave me a reason to smile, when all my sorrows became to heavy for my shoulders alone to bear.
So, what do I want for Christmas this year I hear you ask?
Nothing.
Not a thing.
Except a promise that he will allow me to remain at his side until time itself deem that my time on this earth has been too plentiful.
A promise that he too, will stay by me, holding my hand through the torrential downpours inside the storm I call a soul. Until the clouds break, revealing nothing but a shining sun. And then beyond, into the forever; into the after.
Wherever that may be.
Lacrimosaangel~ Eyes on me 