A small collection of my poems ^_^

Here are a few of my poems I have written, my inspiration taken mainly from recent events 🙂

Ohayou
Early in the morning
as the sun begins to rise
I’m still awake, talking to you
Do you think of me while I am sleeping?

I’ve always thought this type of thing
would happen to anyone but me

“I’ll hold you tight”
“I’d protect you”
These words, they linger
Do you think of me while you are sleeping?

I’ve always thought this type of thing
would be nothing but a dream

You brushed away my tears,
You shine your light at my fears
Though we’ve never met
you know me better than I know myself
so what is it that is so special
about me that makes you want to hold my hand

Early in the evening
as the sun begins to set
I sit awake, thinking of you
Whilst you are sleeping

I’ve often thought of love
as meaningless

“Don’t cry”
“I’ll be there soon”
These words, I always wanted to hear
I read them over while you sleep

I’ve often thought of love
as something I’d never feel

You showed me how to smile
you taught me to be happy
Though we’ve never met
you know my secrets
What is it that is so special
about you that makes me want to hold your hand

I should think of you as proof
that I can live without losing sight of what’s most important

Darling, I wonder if I’ll ever be able to meet you
and if I can’t,
forever and always, I won’t forget

Whispers in the Dark

Many lonely nights I’ve spent
Thinking about all that I regret
I lie here in the hollow dark
waiting for something to fix my heart

Then you came along and I could see
all I ever dreamed I could be
and as I fell into my lover’s arms
and whispered “I love you” in the dark
My heart it soared, on the wings of a thousand angels
Lifting me higher and higher, above the clouds

Many sleepless nights I’ve had
Dreaming of all that we could be
I lie here in the empty dark
waiting for someone to mend my heart

Then you came along and I could hear
all the words I’ve always longed
and as I fell into your arms
and whispered “stay with me” in the dark
My heart it soared, on the wings of a thousand angels
Lifting me higher and higher, above the clouds

I’d rather live with never having you at all
Than to live with the pain of losing you

My heart it screams “I love you”
My heart it sings “I want you”
And still I fear you won’t be here
To mend my broken heart

I wish

I wish you would see behind my mask,
you never realised that the only reason I’m here is you.
I’m falling faster everyday
won’t you lay out your arms and catch me?

I wish you would see how your words make me smile
you should know that you are the one who keeps me from insanity
I’m burning up, I’m breaking down
Won’t you open your heart and hold me?

I wish you would see behind my smile,
would you be saddened by the truth you’d see?
I’m no longer able to hide it
won’t you let down your guard and hear me?

I wish you would see between the lines,
you would see that I’m frightened and you give me hope
I’m crashing, fading, weakening
won’t you put aside your fears and help me?

I wish you would see the real me,
you would see a girl scared, blushing at your every word
I’m passing out, slipping away
won’t you take my hands in yours?

How you make me feel

There’s so much I want to tell you
about how you make me feel
You gave me back my heart
You gave me back my soul

Things I once thought I had lost
you brought them rushing back

There’s so much still I’ve yet to say
about how you make me feel
I thought I was empty
I thought I was lost

All that I once left behind
you helped me to reclaim

There’s so much still I’ve yet to say
about how you make me feel
I thought I was empty
I thought I was lost

Although we’re far apart
You’re the beating of my heart

and when I thought I’d lost everything
That I ever had held dear
You came along and I could see
that I had so much more to live for

Scared

I’m scared to say just how I feel
I’m scared to tell you the truth
I’m scared I’m not good enough
I’m scared I’m not right for you

I’m scared that I’ll hurt you
I’m scared that I’ll mess things up
I’m scared you’ll not even come
I’m scared you’ll want to run

I’m scared I’ll say the wrong thing
I’m scared I’ll do something bad
I’m scared that you won’t like me
I’m scared that you won’t want me

I’m scared of these feelings
I’m scared of these dreams
I’m scared they won’t come true
I’m scared they’ll end

I’m scared of being alone
I’m scared of being without you
I’m scared I’ll fall in love
I’m scared that you won’t

I’m scared that I might tell you
I’m scared you’ll turn me down
I’m scared I’ll give you my heart
I’m scared you’ll throw it away

I’m scared that I’m too broken
I’m scared that I’m too damaged
I’m scared I’ll fall to pieces
I’m scared I’ll let you down

I’m scared you’ll go home again
I’m scared you’ll break my heart
I’m scared that you won’t love me
I’m scared that you will.

 

Guiding Light ~ Mon Coeur S’Ouvre A Ta Voix

Ah! réponds à ma tendresse!
Verse-moi, verse-moi l’ivresse!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A sense of overwhelming calmness has radiated over my being in the last few weeks. There’s not a single cloud in sight and the darkness that has been casting its shadow over my life for the last (god knows how many) years appears to have suddenly dissipated and left nothing but a bright sunny disposition in my heart.

Is this really the effect of my being single again? I wasn’t aware that I was *that* unhappy in my relationship – my marriage; Is it therefore safe to assume that it became the dead weight that was holding me down, making me miserable and keeping me from becoming the person I was always supposed to be? Be that the case, then I am glad I was finally shown how happy I could be and given the courage to spread my wings and break free!

Of course, I honestly believe with the entirety of my heart that it would not be possible, but for the support of one person. My Guiding Light, who came out of nowhere and into my life when I needed someone the most. I have many friends and acquaintances, all of whom have helped in their own ways, but when talking to him I feel in complete serenity, an overwhelming sense of peace surrounding me.

“Tatta hitotsu no korogatte’ta atashi wo
kirei ni shite kurete itsudatte sasaete kureta”

When we first started talking, it was as 2 individuals, with a common goal and common interest. Looking back now, I believe it was my love of music that led us to talking. It seems so long ago now, though it has only been 5 months! Now, we talk so often it’s hard to say where we’re going and what’s going to happen, nevertheless, I wouldn’t be where I am today without him. Though to you it might seem a little silly, me saying that some random guy 5000 miles away whom I met on a GPT site has made such a difference to my life, but it just goes to show that we should never underestimate the potential influence that one single individual could have on our existence as without this one person, I would still be stuck in a dead-end relationship being treated like shit, getting trodden on and forced to just exist without purpose.

That was never my aim in life. I have always known that I am destined for greater things, to be my own person and to achieve all that I wish for. The thought that I could have been squandered and squashed, shaped into someone else’s ideal for the rest of my life is a terrifying thought and I am so glad that I have managed to escape. Since I have been “alone” I have been able to fully focus on what I want and I finally know where I am going. I am learning Japanese again, my music is once again the most important thing in my life and I feel as though I have purpose!

It’s so strange being this calm. It’s almost as though my mind is the ocean, still on a calm spring day, gently ebbing and flowing in harmony with the clouds drifting overhead. There’s no storms on the horizon and the sun is brightly shining. Though it might be raining outside the window, there is sunshine in my heart and it seems as though nothing can stop it warming me with its rays!

I cannot comprehend how one person could make me feel this way. Especially one person whom I’ve not (yet) met. I don’t know if this is love, or just wanton longings but it’s good for me and I don’t want it to ever end. We shall have to wait for the time being and just hope that in 5-6 weeks when we finally DO meet, everything will work out the way I will it to and be it for a few months or the forseeable future, I shall be happy to share my home, my life and my time with this wonderful person who has bought me out of my shell and taught me that the world can be a beautiful place.

I listen to this song every day on my way back from taking Naomi to school, and it never fails to put a spring in my step. As I stand on the crossroads where I so very nearly ended my life not so long ago, I reminisce back to that time and wonder why I didn’t do anything to counteract the madness that I was drowning in. Now, to think that I was so ready to throw it all away; Looking at the scars on my arm from no more than a month and a half ago… I can’t help but feel relieved that I got out when I did. I can’t imagine where I’d be now had I not gotten out, had I not been given that little push in the right direction, that little nudge from someone who would turn out to be so important to me.

There will be some hard times, there will be some days when I feel the weight of the world bearing down upon my shoulders, but now I know that I will always have someone there watching out for me, ready to make me feel better again and give me a reason to go on.

You’ll never know the full extent of my gratitude. If I could say just one thing; Had I the strength to actually voice it then maybe, just maybe – you’d know. Alas, I cannot. The only thing I can say is thank you.

Arigatou Gozaimasu. Daisuke da yo, Anata ga aishiteru.